tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74048637112126268872024-02-20T08:06:44.937-08:00Read this Mommy?read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-61933979428439446662012-07-17T11:34:00.001-07:002012-07-17T11:34:04.535-07:00Onya Baby Outback Carrier!I am always on the lookout for new quality baby carriers. Being able to wear my babes is why I am able to have more then one kid. I have my hands free and can sometimes address the needs of more than one kid at a time. Right now there is a give away at this blog! Go check it out! If you win please come back and tell me all about this carrier!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAYv22o9vb3TEQdtJrPFWKRsmD6hEo50L7hoZBA6jcvv7JyCl67ZLDFQYa9Br0h4XaG8_XpG66HdTBGpny_AcazwHRrdrZ2Divg7d-5ChkmFcvAdLfvoh6v240EOpBc1tTol_qGQqvWJu0/s1600/Onya_Outback_OG_Detail_Side__54174_std.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAYv22o9vb3TEQdtJrPFWKRsmD6hEo50L7hoZBA6jcvv7JyCl67ZLDFQYa9Br0h4XaG8_XpG66HdTBGpny_AcazwHRrdrZ2Divg7d-5ChkmFcvAdLfvoh6v240EOpBc1tTol_qGQqvWJu0/s1600/Onya_Outback_OG_Detail_Side__54174_std.jpg" /></a></div>
<a href="https://twitter.com/arjslife/status/225295511954001922">https://twitter.com/arjslife/status/225295511954001922</a>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-83748770696305585162012-03-12T09:29:00.002-07:002012-03-12T09:38:01.996-07:00I should write more.I should use my brain more.<div>Which isn't exactly true. I use it to extremes even but I spend too much time mindlessly staring at FB and reading nothing. I can rock time management but I know I have a problem with the amount of time I spend online. And, this isn't really what I mean. I am currently pumping and almost done. I am taking a full week off of FB. I am allowed to come here as long as the time wasted doesn't just move here. </div><div>Until tomorrow!</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-83274949810225512312011-09-25T04:29:00.000-07:002011-10-03T08:46:15.117-07:00Getting something off my back!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3tP88CjSrYxTazeCtSMcfbfO9jKoB58DW03ZnFP3w22ywn1b3MyKeaqHbpjLiuVNBHWlZZxgNOU2UVn59kt8AN0LDBbILJ1gC8sl2n1RcV4jyOWHZ3TmVZmL1w4lGag4pg8svWGoJohyphenhyphenE/s1600/13703842.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 185px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3tP88CjSrYxTazeCtSMcfbfO9jKoB58DW03ZnFP3w22ywn1b3MyKeaqHbpjLiuVNBHWlZZxgNOU2UVn59kt8AN0LDBbILJ1gC8sl2n1RcV4jyOWHZ3TmVZmL1w4lGag4pg8svWGoJohyphenhyphenE/s320/13703842.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5656259317346682674" /></a>This is one of the zen stories that is told in Zen Shorts by Jon J Muth:<div><br /></div><div>A Heavy Load:</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn't step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn't help her across the puddle. </div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn't thank the older monk, she just shoved him out of the way and departed. </div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. "That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn't even thank you!" </div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I set the woman down hours ago," the older monk replied. "Why are <i>you</i> still carrying her?"<br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Ever since J was born we have had many negative reactions to having 3 girls. Things like, "Oh, I do not envy you!" "Wait until they are all teenagers!" "Boys are so much easier than girls!" "Can't your husband make boys!" Some of these on their own are not so bad but what has been so difficult is how many times we hear this kind of response when we say we have three girls. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Well, last Saturday we were at a event at the art museum and we saw a two mom family that we know from other activities we do in the community. Actually, we saw this same family at the Museum of Natural History on the day I had J. I was excited to share this piece of information with this family, especially the woman I seem to talk the most to, but instead she very quickly moved to gender and then said "Can't your husband make boys?" I was stunned. It has been weeks now since I have heard this type of comment (mostly because at this point I am sure everyone knows and either has said something negative or not) but I guess because of her orientation I didn't think this would be her reaction. I said something about no, we like to make people, and wandered off. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>As I was looking at chalk drawings I could not stop thinking about it. Was she joking? Is there something else going on for her? I know I am sensitive to this reaction because of how much I have heard it. I can't believe she is intentional trying to be hurtful. But as a woman I don't understand the motivation. These comments are said in front of kids, in front of her daughter even. To me it sounds like, well good thing we got one boy because we already have one girl. Admittedly, this is probably my own filter and not her daughter's thinking. And, the greatest worry, that my daughters, will feel less, is probably also just adult construct. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>If I back up, I can honestly admit that I really really really wanted a boy when we were pregnant with E. And we did not find out until she was born. I was not disappointed at all. Instead, I realized I was wrong. I was wrong that I needed a boy. I needed whatever awesome kid was coming along. She changed me. Maybe that is what I need to remember. Carry around that idea and let down this other interaction with gender. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>I know that mom is not still thinking about what she said, so why am I? Hopefully writing it out will help me let it go. I think about if I see her again. What will I say? How will I not come off as aggressive? Just sincerely hurt and confused at her motivation to say that? But then wouldn't I be asking these questions in front of my girls? Does it give this interaction more power by continuing to bring it up? </div></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>While wrestling with all this I thought of the story from above. And I do want to let it go. I want to put this down and just walk away. And maybe that is what this posting is, me putting this done and walking away. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-73403139633556562452011-07-30T07:17:00.000-07:002011-07-30T12:28:16.889-07:00Hard ChoicesCurrently, I am home with all three kids. H is 4.5, E is 2 and J is almost 6 weeks old. I go back to work in about 3 months. That is not a hard choice for me. Though we do need my income, I feel like I am in this lone minority of moms who really like to work. <div><br /></div><div>The hard choices seem hard in the moment. For example, because of the heat and the way the day turns I have been taking my showers at night before bed. At once this seemed like a good time to also take J in with me so she gets a rinse as well. So here comes the choice. As soon as the big girls hear I am taking a shower they want to join me. B, comes immediately to my aid, acknowledging that I need time alone. But I decided to let them join me. All fours of us at once. Does it sound crazy? It is a tiny bit but what part of my day isn't? Why did I make this choice? It was in the end easier. H will clean up by herself, which then E copies. Though they have been with mom all day, that still want more time, they might even consider this special time. It is a hard choice to make because it could have easily been a battle. B is always trying to make sure I take care of my mental self, he would fight for this time for me. And it makes sense that I would want a shower by myself. But this way is less stressful. And I don't mind that I am not by myself. It seems practical in the end. Less tears, saving time and water. </div><div><br /></div><div>I have been desperately trying to run in the morning. To take care of my physically body. But this has been difficult with J's nursing schedule on top of a late going summer schedule. I have woke up a couple times to run in the morning but wish I could do it more. Like yesterday for example. So I made up my mind that I would run as soon as B got home from work. Once again, he would hold down the fort with no problem if I dug my heals in about wanting to go by myself. I mean, I was just pregnant it would sense that I need to take it easy. But I know that H is going to want to come with me. And then so will E. So I just planned on taking the double runner, prep snacks and make us ready. And it was fantastic. Sure, I got extra weight (how about we call it resistance) but I also get to talk to H almost the whole time (so many questions and thoughts about the world!). But best of all I have the sound of the two sweetest voices in the world chanting "Go mommy go! Wow you are a fast runner mommy! That was the best run yet mommy!" They do this all on their own. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was just hoping for a nice run and for the girls not to be disappointed. But instead I was surprised about how much more I got from the run then just exercise. It isn't like I learned a lesson or love my children even more. It is more about human value and interaction. About how it can all work out for the better even when it takes a little more work.<br /><div><br /></div></div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-61128921205616208532011-07-24T05:50:00.000-07:002011-07-24T07:46:55.003-07:00I runToday I ran for the second time since J has joined us. She will be five weeks old on Tuesday and I have a certain level of pride about working out again. I feel good running and thinking. I haven't even taken an ipod with me. I leave the driveway and my first thoughts are a mixture of strength and observation. I feel tall and strong and I think about how I am leaving my whole family behind me. So many times I over hear women talking about how they cannot leave their children. And sometimes it has this despite overwhelmed tone. And I know it is complicated. I know when I leave that B can take care of the girls all by himself. I know that I need these workouts. I know that I think about my girls while I am away but it is never sadly but instead I think of things to share with them. At one point during my run a squirrel was almost running along side of me and I spoke aloud to it "Okay squirrel! Make up your mind and get out of my way." Immediately I think about telling H about this conversation and the crazy squirrel. While out today I saw a dad and young son out and instantly I wonder if the girls are awake yet. The dad smiles at me and I say to him, "You must have gotten up early today" he laughs and nods, "Yep, 6:15" we both giggle and I am thankful for my sleepy girls but also glad to have seen this man and his son. This dad was happy and enjoying his son. This made me happy too. <div><br /></div><div>I had mentioned my pride about running. I am pleased about getting out early in the morning (with disjointed sleep that comes with newborn territory), about taking care of my body and about accomplishing this so soon after having a baby. Earlier in the week I see a mom friend out and I am impressed with her biceps, amazed at her back muscles and slightly jealous of her waist. She casually mentions doing a 10k at 3 months postpartum (pp). I was pretty happy with doing a 5k at 2 months pp after E was born! I talked to B about all this and how seeing her actually encourages me. I may never achieve quite her level of health (did I mention she is a rock climber and owns a rock gym?) But I know I can do more. Maybe I will help motivate someone else someday. </div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-28735209913514188512010-08-05T11:58:00.000-07:002010-08-05T12:08:02.587-07:00So much on the horizonSchool is about to start up again. And right now I have that feeling of suffocation. Of the impending craziness that our lives will whirl into.<div><br /></div><div>And also, about creating a new life.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am a planner. It is just how I work. But I know this whole creating baby business doesn't always work the way you plan. And so I make allowance for that too. </div><div><br /></div><div>Like, trying for a May/June 2011 baby but if it doesn't work out, taking a breaking and trying again for a Feb-June 2012 baby. </div><div><br /></div><div>Why the gaps in time?</div><div>Mostly because I teach but also to try and stay home for the maximum time, get paid as much as I can and still go back to work at some point. </div><div>And I want to be able to enjoy the summers as much as I can.</div><div><br /></div><div>Also, I don't want act or feel as crazy as I did when we conceived E. I was a lunatic. It worked out perfectly but the way I behaved was terrible. So hopefully I learned from that experiment. </div><div><br /></div><div>Each summer I am off with the girls, proves to me how I have found the place that I am meant to be in. I love teaching and I love the time off with my girls. I am glad this life found me (because let's face it, I do love the whirling craziness!). </div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-68177821821843164942010-06-02T18:46:00.000-07:002010-06-02T18:54:40.325-07:00Tired of sick kidsThe girls have two days of daycare left. I am not done teaching until next Wednesday but B and I came up with the idea for him to take three vacation days to save on money (we would've had to pay for the full week) and to give him time with them.<div><br /></div><div>Today H stayed home with B because she was shaking and had a fever last night. E still went so B could try and work from home. Daycare calls B to talk about her GIGANTIC mosquito bite, which, if there is a way to inherit gross implosions from insect bites, she totally gets from my side. Then they call 'cause she has goopy eyes. Is it pink eye or isn't it? So, I get grouchy about all this and am close to freaking out because I really need to go to school and I know B wants to go to work. So, I start filing through the brain and think about my dad, currently laid off but dealing with the death of my cousin's husband. He says he can help but informs my of the death. </div><div>All this is just peachy, isn't it?</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't wait to be off. I just want to give their immune systems a break. I want to give the part of my brain that swells when this kind of stress happens a little vacation. TWO. MORE. DAYS. </div><div>*Sigh, can we do it?</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-79584838023512494402010-05-30T11:30:00.001-07:002010-05-30T11:46:12.854-07:00A taste of summer timeYesterday we had out big annual BBQ. It is the kind of event that always takes a lot of time, hard work and preparation. The Friday before and all the time Saturday morning before the event begins is chaotic and stressful. And it doesn't help to have a motoring 1 year old (the 3.5 year old is helpful and plays by herself so she is, for the most part, and non factor). Luckily, my parents came to help and I have learned to take on the attitude that if we are still preparing when people start showing up it doesn't matter. I also believe as long as we have burgers cooking and the sangria made everything else will fall in to place. <div><br /></div><div>This year was the best BBQ to date. B and I put some better systems in place and we were actually able to enjoy our party. And it seemed like everyone else did too. Last year, I felt so busy (oh yeah, the 1 year old was like, oh, I don't know, 3 weeks old) and like I didn't get to talk to anyone. </div><div><br /></div><div>We always have a lot of babies and kids at our parties (that is just the age group we are in) and this year was no exception. I love all the little personalities and how 9-11 year olds were playing with 3 year olds. Little squirt guns are universal fun, apparently. </div><div><br /></div><div>Originally, picked this weekend because it is B's birthday weekend (sometimes) and we always have a three day weekend. And that is making everything seem so relaxed and wonderful right now. We all woke up at 9am. That's right, my sweet little darlings did not wake us up. They might have been awake because there was much giggling and laughter and other sounds of joy coming from their room but they let us remain peaceful until we awake on our own. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, we had a nice late breakfast of waffles and strawberries that B prepared (love this man!) and I worked on a little bit of kid laundry in the basement while H played. We all ate outside, which we all love and then I got a bug to start working on the backyard. I feel so productive and relaxed from my yard work and from my second sangria. </div><div><br /></div><div>I have only 7 days of teaching left and then it is summer break. And, I feel like this is another good reason for having our BBQ now because it is such a lovely time to start welcoming summer time at our house. Sadly, summer break always seems to fly by. No worries for me, I looked forward to so many things. It makes it pretty awesome living this life. </div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-29035557298292910802010-04-19T12:38:00.000-07:002010-04-19T12:41:04.628-07:00Menstrual CycleI started my first cycle since July of 2008. That seems like such a long time. And, I have to say I am happy but completely out of practice! I forget to bring pads to the bathroom with me, which is silly. I really do want a Diva Cup but plan on getting pregnant in September so that seems like not enough time to figure it out. This is why I am happy I got my cycle back though. I want to know when I am ovulating so when can end up with a June 2011 baby. Crazy yes, but I am so excited to add to the family!read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-5678893347645780122010-03-13T04:37:00.000-08:002010-03-15T16:17:41.737-07:00Having to take your baby to the hospital.I should have wrote about this last weekend. I had tons of time, but I was either with E or sleeping or relaxing.<div>So, it is important to know she is fine now. I want to keep track of what happened.</div><div>Last Tuesday, as I was driving home from work, daycare called because E had a 101.4 temperature. I called Bruce immediately because that meant that one of us had to stay home with her the next day. I stopped at CVS to pick up a script for albuterol and then picked up both girls.</div><div>I spent that night before bed holding a very warm, very lazy baby. B stayed home with her but H still went to daycare so that B could still do some work at home. </div><div>By the time I got home, we both knew that E needed to see the Dr. the next day. B heard how laborious she was breathing when she was awake (she took several 2-3 hour naps) and I was worried because she only drank one 5oz bottle when she normally drinks 15-20 oz and only had 4 wet diapers in a 24-hour period (normally 6-8). </div><div>So B stayed home the next day too and took her to the Dr. After having two in house breathing treatments and an oral steroid E's breathing was still not improving and the amount of oxygen in her blood was around 85%. She was diagnosed with RSV. (<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 17px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;">Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), which causes infection of the lungs and breathing passages, is a major cause of respiratory illness in young children. More information <a href="http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/lung/rsv.html">here</a>) <span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;">Since she was not responding to the treatments the Dr. wanted her admitted to the hospital.</span></span></div><div>I do not know this yet, I am at work. But I have my phone on me and I keep checking my email. I just want information and I can handle anything as long as she is still here. This is just how my mind works, I worry about babies dying, as long as she is alive I can deal. </div><div>At this point I need to brag about B, once I got to the hospital all the nurses could not stop telling me how great B was. It really shows how in American society dad's are not a part of their children's lives. And that B rocks. He has no problems taking babies to the Dr.'s, it packed up expressed milk, cloth diapers and he even wore her into the hospital (makes perfect sense to keep the baby close to you and still have hands free, but that is how I operate with the two girls all the time). </div><div>I knew when I called him, he thought I was going to freak out about her going to the hospital. But, I felt like she was sick enough to be hospitalized. I also knew that as long as one of us was with her she would be well looked after. </div><div>The plan was for me to take the next day off, stay at the hospital that night and send B and H home. When I picked up H, I still took her to playgroup because I knew she needed to use her energy and I wanted her to have some fun. She did know that her sister was in the hospital and she took it in stride. </div><div>E was put on oxygen, which meant she had tubes in her nose to pump in the oxygen. B said at first she kept pushing the tubes out but between being tired and sick she finally left the tubes alone (for the most part). </div><div>When I first came into the hospital room my heart did ache when I saw her in the baby hospital gown and the oxygen tube but her sweet little face quickly caused me to go into mom mode. I just wanted to hold her. </div><div>Sleep was terrible for me but E did fairly well and the next morning indicated that she would not be going home that day either. The oxygen level was reduced to see if she could come off it, and she did not respond well. B and I arranged for us to switch that night so that I could get some good sleep and so H could spend some time with me. It was completely his idea and I was so grateful for the rest in my own bed. However, we both felt so strange in the house without the other. And it really speaks to how are family is four and so, when we are separated like that it feels fragmented. </div><div>I could write about how when B and H came to do the switch, B's parents came and all the drama that briefly surrounded them but lets just leave it as they stressed me out and I need to be more firm about certain situations. And, that they always have the best intentions. </div><div>What happened? Why didn't I finish?</div><div>Oh yea, dinner was ready!</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-72454727090127134062010-01-10T05:46:00.000-08:002010-01-24T07:50:30.186-08:00Breastfeeding helpThere are certain issues within child-rearing (especially these early years) that can cause emotional arguments. I probably knew I would breastfeed before I became pregnant but it wasn't something I thought about frequently. And yet, it is something that is very important to me. Recently, I have been thinking about my relationship with breastfeeding because of a friend's current struggle.<div><br /><div>For me, it is important to think about how I got to where I am today. And, I have a fascination with starting from the beginning. My biggest influence is my mom. She nursed all 3 of us for 2 years each (and my sister and I are 13 months a part so some that is two kids at once). My mom also stayed home with us and money was tight. But, it is not like I grew up hearing stories of breastfeeding or even seeing anyone doing it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I really connected with my mom again when I became pregnant with H. When I found out I was pregnant, I was in the middle of my intense 13 month master education program. I was working, student-teaching, finishing classes and writing my research. But, I was also very sick, scared and excited. So I would talk to my mom all the time. </div><div><br /></div><div>I also read everything I could. Even those, "What to expect when you are expecting" books (that for some reason so many people hate but I don't really mind them). I knew that breastfeeding could be hard. I knew that my baby and I would be learning together. But it was one of things that just made sense to me. If my body makes milk, I should give it to my baby. Design and function. I could careless about what people thought we should do. I had enough under my belt that I felt secure.</div><div><br /></div><div>So H was born, I brought her to the breast immediately and the rest is history. </div><div>Ha! There is always more to a story (and sometimes there is less). I have a theory that my milk comes in quickly because of how much I try to nurse my babies but, that is just a theory. I know the help B gave me those first four weeks were invaluable as well. He changed all the diapers, let me sleep when I needed to and took the baby when she wouldn't nurse but was still crying. He rocks, but that is a whole other post. </div><div>After those initial weeks, I think breastfeeding is the easiest thing. It does mean I am in charge of feeding but it is for such a short amount of time (in terms of life span). Since I work full time, I also pump for my babies so it doesn't mean I am literally tied to my child either. </div><div><br /></div><div>So here I am, baby number two. The beginning period was shorter (like the first 2 weeks were hard), I have over 100 ounces in the freezer, and we are coming up on nines months. For the most part, I don't really think about breastfeeding.</div><div><br /></div><div>I reconnected with an old friend from High School who was pregnant this last time with me (her baby is 7 weeks younger). I love sharing any insight I have about parenting and she has lots of questions. In the beginning of her breastfeeding journey, I feel like I talked her off the edge of quitting breastfeeding. She was having normal issues: feeling like her baby was not getting enough milk and being sleep deprived. And, I knew breastfeeding was important to her. After she got through her rough patch she called to tell me how thankful she was for my help.</div><div><br /></div><div>For the last two months her baby has been losing weight. Not huge amounts but still worrisome. At the pediatricians last week, they said she needed to use formula.</div><div>I am in no way anti-formula. But, I don't understand how there is something magically in formula to make him start gaining weight. And, as always, breastfeeding her son is important to her.</div><div>I had offered her some of my milk before. I have extra and I understand how important this is to her. Yesterday, she called to tell me how much food he had ate. She wants to come by for some of my milk. If he doesn't start gaining after two weeks of more food and extra milk, she will give him formula. </div><div>She said she feels like a failure.</div><div>She told me, "You know you would too if you had to give your baby formula."</div><div>And, I hope I wouldn't. I see how hard she is trying, I see how much energy she is putting into this. I have so much respect for how hard she is trying to make this work. </div><div>Should she have given formula sooner? </div><div>I don't think that is a fair questions. When you want to breastfeed, giving formula can be the beginning of the end of that relationship. Milk production is all about supply and demand. </div><div>Can a baby have both?</div><div>Absolutely. </div><div>I have a huge problem with this all or nothing approach that it seems people sometimes view the world. </div><div>But I tend to like to view the world on more of a spectrum bases anyways.</div><div>I am not sure how to end this post.</div><div>And it has taken me a long time to write this too.</div><div>I am sure I will have more ideas about this topic and will of course update about her situation.</div><div> </div></div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-87517386473903624022009-10-31T10:39:00.000-07:002009-10-31T10:54:43.318-07:00Just mom, not supermomFrequently, women friends call me supermom.<div><br /></div><div>They will list off what I do as an example of how super I am. The problem is that they seem to get mad at me about. And, say things like, "Oh, well don't expect me to do that, I am not Amanda, I am not super mom!"</div><div><br /></div><div>It feels like a backwards compliment and like girl bullshit.</div><div><br /></div><div>And, it just isn't true.</div><div>Sure, I get stuff done but ultimately we do what works best for our family. </div><div>Anytime ladies call me this I tell them, if I am supermom it is only because of my super-husband and the great support system I have. </div><div>Bruce does not have any imaginary lines drawn about what men do and what women do in a household or in a marriage. He gets stuff done. We both have each other's backs. </div><div>For example, he takes the girls to daycare because teaching starts much earlier for me. Evey uses cloth at diaper care, so everyday we have to make sure there is a stack ready to go. (In someways we make more work for ourselves because of cloth but once again this works for us)</div><div>I try to make sure the bag is ready to go as soon as I get home. And Bruce? Well, he makes me breakfast while I am pumping in the morning and makes me lunch. Yesterday when I got home I saw on the counter all the pumping bottles had been washed. He rocks.</div><div><br /></div><div>Our families are also very involved and help both Bruce and I to be on top of our game. When I have Parent-Teacher conferences in the next several weeks, my mom will come and pick the girls up so Bruce doesn't have to rush (these are long days for me like 7am-8pm).</div><div>We even left both girls with my parents for two days to have some time alone. This is important for us and we feel it is important for our kids to have other adult relationships, especially with the grandparents. </div><div><br /></div><div>I also realized yesterday how our neighbor is part of our village (that helps to raise our children). Hadley often likes to play with the neighbor girl, who is 7, and the mom encourages me to go home and get stuff done. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, my message?</div><div>I am luckily and blessed.</div><div>But, I still have too much dirt around my house and never get to the gym anymore to be called supermom.</div><div>And I am tired of other women putting their insecurities in my direction. </div><div>Now I am off to clean while the husband has the big girl grocery shopping with him. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-54112630133020595512009-10-04T15:56:00.000-07:002009-10-04T16:03:03.870-07:00Why I am a working mom:1. I do not like being overwhelmed by housework. <div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>I just returned to teaching after an extended summer break (so four months total) and while <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>loved, loved, loved being home with the girls, there was almost never time to get anything <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>done. Obviously, I do not have more time now. But there is something about having less time <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>that makes you want to get more done, or at the very least, use your time more wisely. But <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>mostly, when I was home I felt like it was my job to get more done. When both of us work it <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>makes sense that we both do work. And, I have a sweet husband, in that he does everything. <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>And that means he does what ever needs to be done.</div><div>2. I need an outlet. </div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>This is also why teaching is perfect for me. I get the interaction and challenge that I want but also get lots of time off with the kids.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. That is all I can think of right now and the baby is crawling away on me.</div><div><br /></div><div>But oh yeah, I would love to test different vaccums and actaully own one that does a good, no! great job.</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-90419037934546709842009-07-29T05:59:00.000-07:002009-07-29T06:12:52.221-07:00Why kill a baby animal?After dinner we decided to take a walk. As we approached the High School there were two girls standing on the sidewalk throwing rocks at something in the grass.<div>It was a baby robin. As soon as I realized what they were doing I started protesting.</div><div>"Don't hurt that bird!" </div><div>The one girl stop but was laughing nervously. The other girl, barely glanced up at us and continued on with what she was doing. </div><div>Bruce got angry pretty quickly and told them to get out of here.</div><div>They didn't. And the one girl still wanted to throw rocks at the bird. While we were standing there. While our girls were there.</div><div>There was a lot of yelling and the situation was maddening. The same girl picked up another rock and that was when I pulled out my phone to call the non emergency number. Not because I wanted to call the police but because nothing was working and now (after threatening to hurt us physically) she was picking up another rock.</div><div>This worked and they went away.</div><div>But Bruce and I were shaken. </div><div>I want answers. I want to know why they would do this, but more importantly how our mere presence did not make them stop. Why was this something they didn't have guilt about?</div><div>Was race an issue? Could we have approached the situation differently with better results? So frustrating. </div><div>In other news, today is our wedding anniversary. 3 years! And Evey is 3 months today!</div><div>Last night, Bruce and I started roughly planning out our stay-cation (the girls are spending two nights with my folks! Evey's first sleep over!) and I am so excited. I have been pumping for about 2 and a half weeks and have over 100 ounces! I am feeling like I am running out of time as the school year looms closer and closer. And it is filled with a mixture of worry and excitement. </div><div>Can always count on change around here.</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-9898656272066626892009-07-22T20:36:00.000-07:002009-07-22T20:43:02.289-07:00Food is important to me<div>So the other day, I am watching tv (not something we do a lot of, a now that it is the new digital tv maybe even less, because, yes, we are those people who DON'T HAVE CABLE) and there is a commercial for Yoplait's WHips yogurts. It is a normal commercial and it barely has my attention but then they show at the very end, for like 10 seconds the idea of putting one in the freezer. And, all of a sudden, I want one, like right now. And because I am a new mom, trying to watch the baby pounds slip off but also ravenously hungry because A.) I can eat found, unlike during the pregnancy and B.) making milk takes a lot of freakin' calories (or so I tell myself).</div><div><br /></div><div>Today I was telling another new mom about them. I should work for Yoplait. Hey, ya want me to do a commercial? Ha</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-67462176771192518522009-07-16T10:05:00.000-07:002009-07-16T10:13:26.636-07:00Why don't I write more?I am on the computer everyday, so why have I not added more?<div><br /></div><div>First of all, I only have two followers. Two guys that I know nothing about. Guess that is the internet for ya.</div><div><br /></div><div>Second, is because I have so much to say and so little. Ya know what I am saying?</div><div><br /></div><div>So yesterday I made dinner and Bruce can home to a meal ready in like 5 minutes after he was through the door. I wanted to go to the gym, Bruce was ecstatic and did everything he needed to do to make sure it happened. I did the elliptical machine on the hill setting for 30 minutes with a 5 minute cool down. I also did some reverse dips. I am in sore in all the right ways today. </div><div><br /></div><div>But the thing is Bruce got so much put away while I was gone for an hour. He folded the piles of laundry (and our horrid sock mountain!) and kept the girls entertained. I start out good in the morning, but always lose stream by nap time. </div><div><br /></div><div>But today has been a better day. I took Hadley to the park, organized and resorted Evey's clothes (she is no longer in the 0-3 or even the 3-6, more like 6 and 6-9months clothes) and we watered plants outside. I just want to do some yoga and clean the kitchen and made so floors during Hadley's nap. We shall see. </div><div><br /></div><div>We have a street fair tonight that I am very excited about. Life is good, there is always so much going on.</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-43532871070459074752009-06-11T17:41:00.000-07:002009-06-11T17:50:04.196-07:00Always changingRight now, B is feeding E from a bottle. This is important for many reasons. Namely, for when I go back to work E will need to take a bottle. But also so we can go out too. It is important that E gets my milk but can drink from a bottle. At the same time, I don't want her to reject the breast because I only want to pump for times we need it. She can drink from me whenever we are together. <div>When H was going through this I never really even thought about it. We just offered her a bottle with expressed milk when we needed to and life was great. This time around I have read too much. There are time frames and rejection of nipples or entire bottles. I am not a lady who likes to get stressed out. *shrug* We will take it one step at a time. There is no point in worrying about if she won't until it is a problem. Plus, I have the greatest husband who also happens to be one of the most involved dads I have ever laid my eyes on. Seriously. B always does more then he needs to and always with pure love for his girls. And, he has more patience then I do. But his patience has actually helped me to yell less and become more patient. Especially with H. And the way she treats him sometimes would make me blow my top. It might make him sad but he never takes it out on her (not to say I do, I just see how gently and wonderful he is with her.)</div><div>It is hard to not be a part of this. I want to help, to watch to be with them. But I need to be out of the room when he does this. And, like parenthood has been so far, it will change once again. Always.</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-81027530503353655302009-06-10T14:34:00.000-07:002009-06-10T14:38:48.779-07:00WritingI want to write everyday. And I am on the computer everyday. But having two hands and being able to think while using those two hands? Well, that is another task all together.<div><br /></div><div>So today's thought?</div><div><br /></div><div>I am always thinking about teaching. What I will do next year, how to reach students, including technology but not just for the sake of technology. I think about how to incorporate soical justice and the building of a community in whatever we are reading or writing. </div><div><br /></div><div>And, well, I want students to read and to write. I have more thoughts but I have lost them for now. I just need to make this more of a habit.</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-41040190760894085092009-05-25T09:24:00.000-07:002009-05-25T09:41:47.258-07:00I need to write more.Like, where is my birth story?<div>I will post it. I already have it written out for our family website. But I want to start writing more. Here for now and then I might begin another goal. </div><div>So anyways.</div><div>We had our awesome BBQ on Saturday, so many people came, and the day and night just blended into one another and before we knew it, the BBQ was over. So many great friends and more amazing family. I also could not believe all the babies. My BIL said something yesterday about all the couple and babies (he is single and not particularly happy about this) and I guess we are part of that section of society. It feels good though. I do feel like a good mom, most days, and I feel like I have more patience this time around. But that is mostly because of B, he rules in some many ways.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I am in love with using my Sleepy Wrap and I just wanted to express some props for this carrier. As long as I spend time with tying it on before I leave the house I am good to go. E has been everywhere in it, to list a few: grocery store, parks, zoo, target, and mall. I can also nurse with it much better then in the beginning. I do have to take her out, but I don' t mind, but before I was wearing t-shirts and having to pull up the whole shirt, ridiculous. Now, I wear and tank top and just pull over or down and use that side of the wrap to keep the boob away till it is needed. And I am not too hot or too cold because of the layering. Though I do dress E pretty lightly. And she is pretty much out the whole time in it.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was reading another blog: <a href="http://4littlemen.blogspot.com/">http://4littlemen.blogspot.com/</a></div><div>and came across this website <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5849564">Urban Baby Bonnets</a> and now I want at least two, a big one for H and a little one for E. WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO COST MONEY. Sigh. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is a good place to start. Again.</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-69887081263480845672009-04-29T14:35:00.000-07:002009-04-29T14:54:57.954-07:00I am in labor!Yesterday was a rough day. I had made peace with being late and then I went to the Dr.'s. They monitored the baby because of being over 40 weeks, and that went just fine. Then there was an ultrasound to check my fluids, to see how much the baby had inside. I was a little worried the whole time I was at the Dr.'s because I thought it would be a quick visit and instead it turn into two hours and H was with some friends who have a 2 month old. <div><br /></div><div>So the fluids were border line. I had decisions and choices and it stressed me out a little. </div><div><br /></div><div>So last night we went mall walking, I fell asleep at 11 and woke up at 2:30am laid around for a while, got up decided to make RRL tea, read on my message board for advice from my natural mama's and then take a warm bath and hot shower. I feel back to sleep around 5 and woke up 7:30. I was still hoping to have sex with B but was tired and a little crampy.</div><div><br /></div><div>We were about to eat breakfast at 8 and I felt a surge of wetness. So B decided to stay home till we figured out what was going on. Because, just like before, it was not that much water. We ate, we walked, cleaned I called my dad after B and I decided that we wanted to at least go in a get checked. We stop at Edgewater and walk, B's idea, before we got stuck at the hospital. It was a good choice. I was having contractions enough and with the other issues my Dr. was fine with admitting me.</div><div><br /></div><div>B is grabing some food as my contractions become a little more intense. He is back now. </div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-5649813736693894842009-04-26T04:35:00.000-07:002009-04-26T04:48:24.373-07:00Past due date and doing okayWednesday and Thursday were tough days for me emotionally. I really thought this baby was coming. Friday, which was my due date and my last day at school was a great day. I just knew baby wasn't coming (I am guessing I have at least another week) and my students were wonderful. Three classes threw parties, tons of students were saying things like "You can't leave," or "You are coming back after you have the baby, right?" I will definitely visit with the kids, and I am so going to miss everyone. <div><br /></div><div>Yesterday, we were so busy as a family. We had breakfast at a coffee shop in Cleveland (it is called the Erie Island Coffee company:<a href="http://www.erieislandcoffee.com/"> http://www.erieislandcoffee.com/</a>) not only did the barista open up like an hour and half early for us but she was so genuine and sweet. I want to be her cheerleader! Then we headed to the West Side Market, which can be stressful with H but was cool and my favorite part (other then the sweet food) is running into people. We went to Unique Thrift to get H some more summer clothes (the girl needed shorts, skirts and dresses) and we got a bag of clothes for 14 bucks because everything was half off while we were there. We also were able to pick up my car from the mechanics, fixed and free HOORAY! While B put away the food H and I were outside, she was in her sandbox while I was cleaning and raking the yard. For lunch we had hummus that one of my Palestinian student's made as a going away gift and fruit salad. We went home to have friends call about coming over. They have a 20 month old daughter and our kids love each other. We went to the park too, it was great. B and I relaxed on the couch and then B warmed up leftovers (some of which was delicious fruit salad he had made earlier in the day!) H did well during bath time again (I guess I just needed to talk to her about it, who knew?) And then I spent to late watching t.v. and reading a book (The Glass Castle). Such a full and wonderful day, and right now I am glad I didn't go into labor last night! I would have been too tired!</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-76657584103597303692009-04-15T16:39:00.000-07:002009-04-15T16:49:29.452-07:00Why do I feel so crazy???Okay, when I was pregnant with H I was not feeling this insane. Probably because I really did not think my baby would come at 38 weeks But that is a problem this time. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHEN WILL BABY COME. And, the fact that my water broke last time kinda makes this worse. I know I will know when I am in labor but if my water breaks then I really know. *Sigh<div>So I have been drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea since I was 34 weeks (it helps to tone the uterus) and I have been taking EPO orally since around then too. Last night I decided to use it internally, ah, in the, ya know, baby exit. Well, I think I have lost my mucus plug too. AND THIS ALL MAKES ME FEEL CRAZY. I have been bouncing on my ball as soon as I get home from school. I really want to have this baby. And the thing is I am not uncomfortable, I just want to meet my baby. And so I feel even more crazy. And H has been so crabby and hard to manage. Maybe that means the baby is coming too. (The phrase that is out of my mouth every two seconds these days..)</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-80279528454427102009-04-14T13:47:00.000-07:002009-04-14T13:50:21.576-07:00This is when time slows down..Seriously, I just want to meet this little person. So I had a doctor's appointment I am a stretchy 1-2 dilated which means nothing really but I came home excited, drinking my red raspberry leaf tea, took more EPO and am bouncing on my birthing ball while I am online. I will be fine if I go past my due date, but truth be told I WANT TO HAVE THIS BABY TODAY. HAHA I am a nut. This is almost as bad as when I was ttcing. Almost. read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-43080562164360322152009-04-13T05:16:00.000-07:002009-04-13T06:44:11.090-07:00The end weeks..11 days till due dateOn Saturday, I told my mom that I don't feel like I am close yet. I still am pretty comfortable and it just does not feel close yet. I feel like I have at least a week or even past my due date. I am a super glad that I am still working to help take my mind off of when the baby will come.<div><br /></div><div>Yesterday at church, however, I felt very very different. I had to leave service to walk around, drink water and just chill. I was not having contractions and obviously my water was in place, but I did feel off. I had a chat with the baby. I told baby that I am ready, that there is a sister who will be a great big sister and the best dad in the world. And I also told them that if they need more time, that is okay too. I was so tired when we got home from church, B graciously let me take a nap while he entertained H. I bounced on the ball later and got some stuff done for school. </div><div>Easter at the J's was great, H had tons of fun and we ate some great food. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am pretty sure I am going to make through to my due date, and I am totally fine with that. In a lot of ways it will be nice for school and my students and even the money part. But, I am ready at any moment for baby. </div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404863711212626887.post-55842557072428724262009-03-14T06:37:00.000-07:002009-03-14T06:45:05.752-07:00Saturday musingsI have 6 weeks until my due date. Five of those weeks I will still be teaching (Spring Break is right in the middle and that will be the time I use to get more ready, though truthfully I don't feel like there is that much to do). I got my preemie prefolds, Sleepy Wrap, wet bag and pail bags this week. I feel set in terms of buying anything else. I am very happy with my newborn stash of cloth diapers. <div><br /></div><div>I have been having more and more Braxton Hicks contractions. This is much sooner then it was with H. Nothing intense just crampy and I feel little one moving around all the time. I do not feel 8 months pregnant (nor really look like it either).</div><div><br /></div><div>H has had some tough times lately. Potty training is at a stand still, she has had ringworm and a fever between this week and last week, so she was out of daycare for two days both weeks. B has been awesome through it all, mostly staying home with her. I did stay home yesterday, I knew it was crazy busy at work for B so I needed to take some of the pressure off. H and I had a great day, I got a lot of cleaning done and that always makes me feel better. </div><div>I hope today is rewarding too.</div>read this mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13978190230938396197noreply@blogger.com0