I run

Today I ran for the second time since J has joined us. She will be five weeks old on Tuesday and I have a certain level of pride about working out again. I feel good running and thinking. I haven't even taken an ipod with me. I leave the driveway and my first thoughts are a mixture of strength and observation. I feel tall and strong and I think about how I am leaving my whole family behind me. So many times I over hear women talking about how they cannot leave their children. And sometimes it has this despite overwhelmed tone. And I know it is complicated. I know when I leave that B can take care of the girls all by himself. I know that I need these workouts. I know that I think about my girls while I am away but it is never sadly but instead I think of things to share with them. At one point during my run a squirrel was almost running along side of me and I spoke aloud to it "Okay squirrel! Make up your mind and get out of my way." Immediately I think about telling H about this conversation and the crazy squirrel. While out today I saw a dad and young son out and instantly I wonder if the girls are awake yet. The dad smiles at me and I say to him, "You must have gotten up early today" he laughs and nods, "Yep, 6:15" we both giggle and I am thankful for my sleepy girls but also glad to have seen this man and his son. This dad was happy and enjoying his son. This made me happy too.

I had mentioned my pride about running. I am pleased about getting out early in the morning (with disjointed sleep that comes with newborn territory), about taking care of my body and about accomplishing this so soon after having a baby. Earlier in the week I see a mom friend out and I am impressed with her biceps, amazed at her back muscles and slightly jealous of her waist. She casually mentions doing a 10k at 3 months postpartum (pp). I was pretty happy with doing a 5k at 2 months pp after E was born! I talked to B about all this and how seeing her actually encourages me. I may never achieve quite her level of health (did I mention she is a rock climber and owns a rock gym?) But I know I can do more. Maybe I will help motivate someone else someday.