Saturday, October 31, 2009

Just mom, not supermom

Frequently, women friends call me supermom.

They will list off what I do as an example of how super I am. The problem is that they seem to get mad at me about. And, say things like, "Oh, well don't expect me to do that, I am not Amanda, I am not super mom!"

It feels like a backwards compliment and like girl bullshit.

And, it just isn't true.
Sure, I get stuff done but ultimately we do what works best for our family.
Anytime ladies call me this I tell them, if I am supermom it is only because of my super-husband and the great support system I have.
Bruce does not have any imaginary lines drawn about what men do and what women do in a household or in a marriage. He gets stuff done. We both have each other's backs.
For example, he takes the girls to daycare because teaching starts much earlier for me. Evey uses cloth at diaper care, so everyday we have to make sure there is a stack ready to go. (In someways we make more work for ourselves because of cloth but once again this works for us)
I try to make sure the bag is ready to go as soon as I get home. And Bruce? Well, he makes me breakfast while I am pumping in the morning and makes me lunch. Yesterday when I got home I saw on the counter all the pumping bottles had been washed. He rocks.

Our families are also very involved and help both Bruce and I to be on top of our game. When I have Parent-Teacher conferences in the next several weeks, my mom will come and pick the girls up so Bruce doesn't have to rush (these are long days for me like 7am-8pm).
We even left both girls with my parents for two days to have some time alone. This is important for us and we feel it is important for our kids to have other adult relationships, especially with the grandparents.

I also realized yesterday how our neighbor is part of our village (that helps to raise our children). Hadley often likes to play with the neighbor girl, who is 7, and the mom encourages me to go home and get stuff done.

So, my message?
I am luckily and blessed.
But, I still have too much dirt around my house and never get to the gym anymore to be called supermom.
And I am tired of other women putting their insecurities in my direction.
Now I am off to clean while the husband has the big girl grocery shopping with him.

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