Just mom, not supermom

Frequently, women friends call me supermom.

They will list off what I do as an example of how super I am. The problem is that they seem to get mad at me about. And, say things like, "Oh, well don't expect me to do that, I am not Amanda, I am not super mom!"

It feels like a backwards compliment and like girl bullshit.

And, it just isn't true.

Sure, I get stuff done but ultimately we do what works best for our family.

Anytime ladies call me this I tell them, if I am supermom it is only because of my super-husband and the great support system I have.

Bruce does not have any imaginary lines drawn about what men do and what women do in a household or in a marriage. He gets stuff done. We both have each other's backs.

For example, he takes the girls to daycare because teaching starts much earlier for me. Evey uses cloth at diaper care, so everyday we have to make sure there is a stack ready to go. (In someways we make more work for ourselves because of cloth but once again this works for us)

I try to make sure the bag is ready to go as soon as I get home. And Bruce? Well, he makes me breakfast while I am pumping in the morning and makes me lunch. Yesterday when I got home I saw on the counter all the pumping bottles had been washed. He rocks.

Our families are also very involved and help both Bruce and I to be on top of our game. When I have Parent-Teacher conferences in the next several weeks, my mom will come and pick the girls up so Bruce doesn't have to rush (these are long days for me like 7am-8pm).

We even left both girls with my parents for two days to have some time alone. This is important for us and we feel it is important for our kids to have other adult relationships, especially with the grandparents.

I also realized yesterday how our neighbor is part of our village (that helps to raise our children). Hadley often likes to play with the neighbor girl, who is 7, and the mom encourages me to go home and get stuff done.

So, my message?

I am luckily and blessed.

But, I still have too much dirt around my house and never get to the gym anymore to be called supermom.

And I am tired of other women putting their insecurities in my direction.

Now I am off to clean while the husband has the big girl grocery shopping with him.

Why I am a working mom:

1. I do not like being overwhelmed by housework.

I just returned to teaching after an extended summer break (so four months total) and while loved, loved, loved being home with the girls, there was almost never time to get anything done. Obviously, I do not have more time now. But there is something about having less time that makes you want to get more done, or at the very least, use your time more wisely. But mostly, when I was home I felt like it was my job to get more done. When both of us work it makes sense that we both do work. And, I have a sweet husband, in that he does everything. And that means he does what ever needs to be done.

2. I need an outlet.

This is also why teaching is perfect for me. I get the interaction and challenge that I want but also get lots of time off with the kids.

3. That is all I can think of right now and the baby is crawling away on me.

But oh yeah, I would love to test different vaccums and actaully own one that does a good, no! great job.

Why kill a baby animal?

After dinner we decided to take a walk. As we approached the High School there were two girls standing on the sidewalk throwing rocks at something in the grass.

It was a baby robin. As soon as I realized what they were doing I started protesting.

"Don't hurt that bird!"

The one girl stop but was laughing nervously. The other girl, barely glanced up at us and continued on with what she was doing.

Bruce got angry pretty quickly and told them to get out of here.

They didn't. And the one girl still wanted to throw rocks at the bird. While we were standing there. While our girls were there.

There was a lot of yelling and the situation was maddening. The same girl picked up another rock and that was when I pulled out my phone to call the non emergency number. Not because I wanted to call the police but because nothing was working and now (after threatening to hurt us physically) she was picking up another rock.

This worked and they went away.

But Bruce and I were shaken.

I want answers. I want to know why they would do this, but more importantly how our mere presence did not make them stop. Why was this something they didn't have guilt about?

Was race an issue? Could we have approached the situation differently with better results? So frustrating.

In other news, today is our wedding anniversary. 3 years! And Evey is 3 months today!

Last night, Bruce and I started roughly planning out our stay-cation (the girls are spending two nights with my folks! Evey's first sleep over!) and I am so excited. I have been pumping for about 2 and a half weeks and have over 100 ounces! I am feeling like I am running out of time as the school year looms closer and closer. And it is filled with a mixture of worry and excitement.

Can always count on change around here.

Food is important to me

So the other day, I am watching tv (not something we do a lot of, a now that it is the new digital tv maybe even less, because, yes, we are those people who DON'T HAVE CABLE) and there is a commercial for Yoplait's WHips yogurts. It is a normal commercial and it barely has my attention but then they show at the very end, for like 10 seconds the idea of putting one in the freezer. And, all of a sudden, I want one, like right now. And because I am a new mom, trying to watch the baby pounds slip off but also ravenously hungry because A.) I can eat found, unlike during the pregnancy and B.) making milk takes a lot of freakin' calories (or so I tell myself).

Today I was telling another new mom about them. I should work for Yoplait. Hey, ya want me to do a commercial? Ha

Why don't I write more?

I am on the computer everyday, so why have I not added more?

First of all, I only have two followers. Two guys that I know nothing about. Guess that is the internet for ya.

Second, is because I have so much to say and so little. Ya know what I am saying?

So yesterday I made dinner and Bruce can home to a meal ready in like 5 minutes after he was through the door. I wanted to go to the gym, Bruce was ecstatic and did everything he needed to do to make sure it happened. I did the elliptical machine on the hill setting for 30 minutes with a 5 minute cool down. I also did some reverse dips. I am in sore in all the right ways today.

But the thing is Bruce got so much put away while I was gone for an hour. He folded the piles of laundry (and our horrid sock mountain!) and kept the girls entertained. I start out good in the morning, but always lose stream by nap time.

But today has been a better day. I took Hadley to the park, organized and resorted Evey's clothes (she is no longer in the 0-3 or even the 3-6, more like 6 and 6-9months clothes) and we watered plants outside. I just want to do some yoga and clean the kitchen and made so floors during Hadley's nap. We shall see.

We have a street fair tonight that I am very excited about. Life is good, there is always so much going on.

Always changing

Right now, B is feeding E from a bottle. This is important for many reasons. Namely, for when I go back to work E will need to take a bottle. But also so we can go out too. It is important that E gets my milk but can drink from a bottle. At the same time, I don't want her to reject the breast because I only want to pump for times we need it. She can drink from me whenever we are together. 

When H was going through this I never really even thought about it. We just offered her a bottle with expressed milk when we needed to and life was great. This time around I have read too much. There are time frames and rejection of nipples or entire bottles. I am not a lady who likes to get stressed out. *shrug* We will take it one step at a time. There is no point in worrying about if she won't until it is a problem. Plus, I have the greatest husband who also happens to be one of the most involved dads I have ever laid my eyes on. Seriously. B always does more then he needs to and always with pure love for his girls. And, he has more patience then I do. But his patience has actually helped me to yell less and become more patient. Especially with H. And the way she treats him sometimes would make me blow my top. It might make him sad but he never takes it out on her (not to say I do, I just see how gently and wonderful he is with her.)

It is hard to not be a part of this. I want to help, to watch to be with them. But I need to be out of the room when he does this. And, like parenthood has been so far, it will change once again. Always.

Writing

I want to write everyday. And I am on the computer everyday. But having two hands and being able to think while using those two hands? Well, that is another task all together.

So today's thought?

I am always thinking about teaching. What I will do next year, how to reach students, including technology but not just for the sake of technology. I think about how to incorporate soical justice and the building of a community in whatever we are reading or writing. 

And, well, I want students to read and to write. I have more thoughts but I have lost them for now. I just need to make this more of a habit.